Wandered Many a Weary Foot
by pandorabox82
Summary: Kristin knew that she was a fool for still yearning after Nathan, especially since he had never come visit her after his return. But will yet another Christmas pass her by without seeing him?


Kristin sighed as she wrapped her fingers around her mug of tea. This would be the first Christmas she would celebrate with the knowledge that Nathan Bridger was still alive, and yet wouldn't be with her. Oh, she knew, instinctively, that raising his grandson and searching for his son were more important than reconnecting with her, but a small part of her had still hoped beyond hope that he would at least email her, asking about how her life was going.

There had been no word from him since his return.

That should have been her first clue that she wasn't going to hear anything. But still, like a naïve child, she had hoped and wished that the season of love and peace would bring about a little inkling of how he was doing. Sighing once more, she took a sip of tea before settling back on the sofa and staring at the vidscreen displaying a cozy fire. Though it was supposed to put her in the holiday mood, she found that it leant little cheer to her morose state of mind.

As she went to finish her tea, the alert on her screen went off, and she accepted the video call before even checking to see who it was, her heart practically yelling at her that Nathan had not forgotten about her. When Lucas's face appeared on the screen, however, her heart sank like a stone. "Hi, Doc."

"Hi." She tried to sound enthused, but knew that she fell far short of that mark by the look on the boy's face. "Happy Christmas."

"Merry Christmas. That, in fact, is the reason why I'm calling I wanted to see how you were spending the holiday. It seems that settling into a rhythm is a little more difficult than I anticipated." She smiled a little, seeing just how lost he looked. Though she had aged a decade, he still looked so young, so innocent, and it made her heart lurch in her chest a little as she tilted her head to one side.

"I'd always have room for you here, Lucas. Is, is there any chance you might be able to ask Nathan how he's doing before you come?"

Kristin hated sounding like a lovesick schoolgirl, but that was exactly what she heard in her voice, and she knew that he could hear it too, since he frowned a bit before shaking his head. "I can try to reach out to him, but he's been off the radar, even for me, these last few months. I should be by in a day or two?"

"That will be fine. I look forward to seeing you." A true, warm, smile curved her lips upwards, and Lucas returned the gesture before giving her a quick wave and disconnecting the video. Once she was certain that there would be no more interruptions, she allowed the happiness to slip from her grasp and took a few deep, shaky, breaths before bursting into tears. "Really, Kristin, it's quite pathetic that you would be moping over a man who moved on from you so quickly. You just need to build a bridge."

Shaking her head, she drained the mug of tea and then set it on the table in front of her so that she could pull her legs close to her chest and stare at nothing. Kristin managed to so deeply lose herself in thought that she didn't acknowledge the bell ringing on her front door the first five times she heard it, and only looked up when the ring was accompanied by a strong knock.

"I'm coming!" she croaked out as she unfolded her body and stumbled out to her front door. She knew that it wouldn't be Lucas, he had said that it would take him a day or more to reach her. And Cynthia was nowhere near enough to be appearing at her door unexpectedly. Stopping in front of her door, she reached up to wipe her face clear of the tears she hadn't even realised were there until that moment. "Can I…"

Her voice trailed off as the door opened to reveal the very person she had been thinking of, standing sheepishly on her front porch. "Hullo, sweetheart."

"Nathan. Oh, Nathan," she breathed out, the tears springing back into her eyes as she welcomed him inside, allowing him to close the door behind him. In the space of a moment, he was sweeping her up into a warm embrace, and she sighed at how right it still felt, to be in his arms, to breathe in a scent that was as familiar to her as her own perfume.

"I had a few things to take care of before I came. And I knew I had to do it without telling you as I was coming, since I didn't want to chicken out and disappoint you. Kristin…"

"Hush, you're here, and if you stay in my life, there will be time enough to discuss everything later. It's Christmastime, and we're supposed to be happy at Christmas, yes?"

He nodded a little before cupping her chin and looking deeply into her eyes. "I've missed the way you look at me," he said lowly before leaning in. Anticipating the kiss, she let her eyelids flutter closed as she parted her lips slightly and surrendered herself over to the feel of his lips pressing against hers. It was everything she had missed, and slowly, her arms encircled his neck, pulling him down closer to her as she molded her body to his. This was everything she had wished it to be, and Kristin fought to keep her shoulders from shaking as she began to cry in earnest. "Hey, none of that now."

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she rested her forehead against his, breathing heavily as her hand began to tug at the short hairs at the nape of his neck. "I just can't seem to stop crying this evening."

"But it's Christmas."

"You've said that already, Nathan."

"Has it sunk in yet?" A watery laugh left her body as she shook her head and smacked his shoulder lightly. "There, I think that it might finally be."

"Hush." Rolling her eyes a little, she stroked his cheek, letting her fingers become accustomed to the silky feel of his beard. "And we've finally caught up to each other in age. You won't be robbing the cradle with me," she teased gently, still trying to find some sense of equilibrium. After all Nathan, her Nathan, was in her home, in her arms.

"Maybe you've finally slowed down enough so that I can keep up with you," he shot back, running his hand down her back to rest on the swell of her bum. "Though if I know you, you've kept busy in the years we were gone."

She shrugged before taking hold of his hand and leading him into the living room. In that moment, she was a bit disappointed in herself for not having put up a normal tree, instead opting for a small coffee table one that she could easily put away when she was done with the season. "I've been doing well, you could say. Though I've missed you terribly, despite knowing that you moved on with Doctor Smith."

"It didn't last long, Kristin. She was never you." Those words were a balm to her heart, and she let out a happier sigh as they sank down onto the sofa. And she relished the way that he drew her close to his side, letting her almost curl up in his lap as they both looked over at the vid of the fireplace. "This is nice."

"It is. How long do you think we can stay like this before one of our backs start to protest?"

"Hopefully long enough for you to fall asleep on me." She chuckled lightly and then rubbed her cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt. "It's been a long time since we could do this."

"It has. But we can make up for lost time, at least a little. But I think I'd rather move upstairs if we're to fall asleep. My back has been bothering me more these past few months." She felt Nathan press his lips to the top of her head, and sighed a little as she wrapped her arm around his waist as she curled up a little closer to him. "Do you think we could rest a little more here before heading up to my room?"

"We can do whatever you'd like. I'm just glad that you even let me in."

"As if I would ever shut you out," she murmured as she began to worry a piece of fabric on his shirt between her fingers. A gentle peace fell over the room, and she allowed their breaths to sync up, unwilling to break the silence, since it felt so healing to her for some reason.

After twenty minutes, he nudged her hip, and she contorted her body to look up into his face. "You fell asleep there on me, Kristin."

"Oh," she breathed out as she sat up and stretched. "Come along, then." Standing, she reached out her hand, and smiled gently as Nathan took hold of it, leveraging himself to his feet before slinging his arm low around her hips as they began to make their way towards the stairs. Kristin started up first, holding tightly to Nathan's hand as they climbed.

Once in her room, Kristin slowly made her way over to the bed, not knowing why she was so nervous about this moment. "Kristin?"

She looked up at him, knowing that her eyes were large in her face. "Yes, Nathan?"

"I just want to sleep in your arms tonight. We'll take things slow, as slow as you want them, I just need to know that you're there." She nodded, blinking back tears as she tugged her shirt over her head and allowed it to fall to the floor along with her skirt. Then, she took a few deep breaths before unfastening her bra and letting it join the pile of clothes before pulling back the covers and laying down.

It didn't take long for Nathan to join her, and she sighed with pleasure to cuddle in close to him, letting the warmth of his skin bleed into her body as she let her eyes flutter closed, Nathan's fingers carding through her hair. "Nathan?"

"Yes?"

"Happy Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Kristin." He kissed her forehead lightly, and she sighed lightly. "I've traveled many miles to come home to you."

"No, Nathan, you wandered many a weary foot from me," she whispered, recalling the words to the Robert Burns poem. "And then you came back, the long way around." Tilting her head gently, she pressed her lips against the strong line of his jaw before tangling their legs together in an effort to get as close to him as possible, realizing in that moment just how much she had missed his presence in the last ten years. Being in his arms felt like heaven and home, and she hoped this wouldn't be just a fleeting moment in her life.


End file.
